Let’s be honest: the leadership playbook many of us were taught in our early work life, is gathering dust. You know the one—corner office, (like the one I wanted looking over Michigan Ave.) running the meeting, most visible voice in the room. Success looked like command, control, and presence. Then work changed. Our teams spread across cities and time zones. That “in-the-room” leadership style doesn’t translate on Zoom squares and a two-dimensional connection. In my coaching work, the leaders who are thriving aren’t the loudest. They’re the ones who’ve embraced a simple truth:
You can’t manage presence anymore. You must cultivate belonging. The old command-and-control model is giving way to something more human—and more effective: connection and trust.
Why This Isn’t “Soft.” It’s Smart.
- Google’s Project Aristotle found that high-performing teams share one key trait: psychological safety—people feel safe to take risks and be real.]
- Gallup has shown, over and over, that manager relationships drive engagement and retention. 80% of the time, employees leave because of the relationship with their manager. In hybrid or remote settings, you are the culture, in real time.
Four Shifts You Can Make Today
This isn’t theory. It’s practice. Try these with your team this week.
1) Ditch the Status Update. Start a Real Conversation.
Those 15-minute “what are you working on?” check-ins can feel like surveillance in a distributed world.
Try this: ask better questions.
- “What’s one thing that energized you this week?”
- “Where are you feeling stuck—and what would help?”
- “How does this tie to work you care about?”
Why it works: You shift from taskmaster to coach. You surface blockers, tap intrinsic motivation, and show you value their thinking—not just their output.
2) Be the Chief Celebration Officer.
In an office, a win might get a high-five. Online, silence feels like indifference.
Try this: build a ritual for wins.
Create a #shoutouts channel or start each team call with “Two Minutes of Thanks.” Be specific:
“Shoutout to Alex for staying patient with that frustrated client—she turned them into a raving fan.”
Why it works: Public, specific praise sets the bar for “what great looks like,” builds momentum, and fuels motivation. And the more you praise people the more they want to be praised and will look for more opportunities to be praised.
3) Make It Safe to Be Human.
Trust doesn’t happen by accident, especially when we rarely share a room.
Try this:
- Go first. “I called that one wrong—here’s what I learned.”
- Frame as experiments. “Let’s test this for two weeks and see what the data says.”
Why it works: When it’s safe to be imperfect, people contribute ideas earlier, surface risks faster, and innovate more often. That’s psychological safety in action. This one move will make up your creative discussions.
4) Hold the Tension: Empathy and Accountability.
Empathy isn’t lowering the bar. It’s how you keep the bar visible.
Try this language:
- Empathy: “I know there’s a lot on your plate at home. How are you holding up?”
- Accountability: “Given that, what support do you need to hit the deadline—or do
we need to adjust the plan?”
Why it works: People feel seen and supported—and they know the work still matters. That builds respect and loyalty.
Bringing It All Together
The corner office is empty (yes, even the one on Michigan Ave.) The future of leadership isn’t a place; it’s a practice. Be the leader who connects, who clarifies purpose, and who makes every person—wherever they are—feel like they belong on this team. Be the leader who cares!
It’s not only good business. It’s the most rewarding work we do.